figgis-fiddis

hi not in the mood to write with correct placings of capital letters or perfect punctuation (hi if you're a new reader i don't usually type like this ok don't get a bad first impression of me go read my earlier posts)

so this happened

and well last night was a very emotional one for me nadine asked 'oh did did you cry a bucket of tears last night' and i answered back 'i think it was more than a bucket..' because uh i did shush i do have emotions too okay i just don't feel comfortable talking about it plus i don't want people to see me as an emo or depressed person that's why i never post any sad stuff here or on twitter no matter how sad i feel because well

of course alhamdulillah i got offered to a boarding school and it's not just ANY boarding school; it's sm sains seri puteri, kuala lumpur. i have several more friends who got offered there like ihdini, nabila, adiba liyana, huda, sofiah and azwa. just saying that 80 per cent of me is saying no i wanna stay here in sa but then then.. well this is complicated and uh personal stuff. 

going with my family to visit the school tomorrow just to take a look but MOST PROBABLY i'm staying in sa.  

enough with the boarding school talk and on to more negative things (sekali-sekala apa salahnya). i'm having this sinking feeling that i'm losing all my vibe (not to be confused with vine). i mean i'm so diSAPPOINTED with myself for being such a boring person this year so far like ermahgerd i can't make jokes now or make people laugh as much as i did last year - everything's plain with me and there's nothing interesting to look at plus my english pronunciation and the way i speak is getting worse. it's like- it's like i'm a water balloon and all the water's leaking out of me do you get me. even cayssey asked why am i so quiet in class

bagaimanakah cara untuk saya menjadi seorang yang lebih menyeronokkan senpai tolong saya 

yea yea these are all exaggeration it could be just in my mind but who knows

btw it's a public holiday tomorrow yayers 

why am i typing like this

yesterday's yesterday which was a tuesday was a public holiday too and i was lying at home half-alive because i was sick haha while the rest of my family went to the masjid for sambutan maulidur rasul. 

i am so sleepy

so sorry for wasting your time I'M SO SORRY D:

(whose time?) (who are you talking to?) (there's no one here) 

(they say that talking to yourself is the first side of madness, honey.)