Thursday, July 6, 2017

Of fashion and makeup

Judging by the title above, you can probably predict the level of pretentiousness in this post HAHAHAHA but bear with my 1.30 AM state who just went through old Vivy Yusof's blog posts. 

I have a confession to make. I actually really do like to keep up to date to the latest makeup item and fashion trends even when I look like the last person who do. Let's start with makeup first. I remember getting hooked to watching makeup videos after my brother showed me Michelle Phan's Barbie look tutorial for Halloween when I was 12. I loved seeing girls transforming their looks and I probably imagined how I look like too since that was the peak of my dislike of my own face hahaha. Throughout the years I've watched tutorials I've learnt of ways to contour, highlight, bake (yes it's a makeup term), strobe etc.; of primers and setting spray; of the difference in the quality between drugstore and high end makeup formulas. Some of my favorite Youtubers that I watched were Michelle Phan, that Makeup by Mandy girl (?) (though I heard that she's changed to be more herself?), Pony, Jeffree Star (not his attitude though) and for locally, Putreeo. I also admire looking at people's face with their makeup on fleek on Instagram. The thing is, I don't wear makeup myself and I don't think I ever will on a daily basis. I've tried once or twice for like.. prefect party and graduation and sometimes I just try it on for fun in my room and end up wiping them off after an hour or so. Why? Firstly, let's just say I'm not confident enough to look different from the way I've always looked. Second, Michelle Phan once said that makeup is like a painting, and the canvas which is your skin needs to be smooth. Mine is far from that so when I try putting on any layer of foundation it just looks very obvious. I went to Sephora just last week and scampered out ten minutes after after looking at my makeup free reflection on the mirror lol. Next, maybe because I'm the only girl among my siblings  with two older brothers so it just feels kind of awkward if I do wear makeup when going out with my family.. and of course them being males means that they don't really support the idea of makeup generally. Boohoo. Moreover, the leceh part. I don't think I can commit myself to spending at least an extra fifteen minutes even before heading out to the public.. and to spend more time wiping them off before going to sleep (because I am the type who would just sleep when I'm really tired without washing my face etc ikr so lazy and unkempt ew). Plus, I've always wondered how people can keep their makeup on when they need to pray etc like it seems like so much work to wipe them off and put them back again, or even to tahan your air sembahyang for hours (blame my stomach lol). Lastly, they do cost a bomb and I'm a very stingy person. So, overall for now I might only reserve wearing it for special occasions but who knows how I will be like in the future.

Next is fashion. My primary school self loved drawing clothes and designing dresses. My ambition used to be a fashion designer until my mom ruined it for me saying that anyone can do that and it's not really reputable or stable as a career lol. Anyway, I used to only read the newspapers on Wednesdays because that was when the fashion section was featured, and I could tell the differences in style between designers. Because my mum subscribed to the Nona magazine too, my 9 year old self would flip the pages every month and look at the clothes the people were wearing haha. I was super excited when the fashion magazine for those wearing the hijab came out, Hijabista , until I realized how pretentious it was. Anyway, I liked being up to date with the mass media related to the fashion industry like movies, series, etc. I've read all the books in the Shopaholic series from cover to cover countless times, The Devil Wears Prada and the sequel; watched seasons of Korea's Next Top Model and Asia's Next Top Model and also Style Log, and even went for this short online course by the Parsons School of Design (the free trial only covered one segment and later on you had to pay grrr so I stopped). As interested as I am in fashion, I am not interested in dressing up myself hahah. I mean, in my head the idea of looking at clothes and shopping and trying out clothes all seem so glitz and fun and so Instagram-worthy but when I go to actual shops suddenly all my interest just fades away for some reason. Most of my arguments with my mum whenever we go out is about me complaining how she shops too much and too long and how I just want to go home lol. Even when I was a small child, my mum was worried that my dad would somehow scold me into disliking shops because I would cry whenever we enter a store but in reality, it's just really me being tired of standing too long. In my head I really do want to become like famous people who dress up well on Instagram but I really don't have enough courage to do so myself I guess. Maybe because most of them look mature and elegant in their clothes, while I've been looking waaaayyyy too mature for my age since young that I don't want to dress all lady-like and grownup-ish. I remember going to my driving class  in a long sleeved black tshirt and loose jeans and unstyled tudung bawal with sneakers, basically very selekeh look, when I saw my friend all dressed up so I said hi to her. Later on, my driving instructor asked me if she was really my friend and is my age because to him she looks like some 'mak orang' going for an event. I know that it's rude and I shouldn't listen to what others comment on your look, especially coming from men, but at that moment a teeny bit of joy entered my heart because yo when was the last time I ever looked younger than my peers, just because I looked like I wasn't making an effort to dress up which was supposed to be like a mindset of a schoolkid haha? Idk man after years of being commented that I look like my mom's OLDER sister, I'm in no rush in wanting to dress up maturely. Sometimes too, clothes look so unattractive to me on hangers but when I see people wearing them it's like whoaaa it looks nicer on person so that could be a reason why I don't shop too often too. Half of my wardrobe are hand-me-downs from my brothers, a quarter of it being things my mum bought that wants to force me to wear and another quarter being birthday presents hahah. My handbag that I recently used was a gift from my aunty when I was 11 years old and I'm still using it. However, there was a time when I was interested in branded stuff, but they were street clothing like from Hood By Air, HUF, Boy London, Pigalle, Stüssy, Supreme, Obey and Adidas Originals. That phase ended.. or has it? Anyway, the conclusion is I like seeing people wearing nice clothes or styling people in my head than actually wearing them myself for whatever reason. I still have a hijabista image of myself in my head in pastel chiffon clothing though, so maybe one day I'll make an effort to achieve that dream hahaha maybe in my twenties. 

So this has been a random post by me at almost 3 AM now about makeup and fashion. Bilalah I nak glow up ni I tunggu je. 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

long list of college activities

Assalamualaikum and like how every other post here begins, heh, long time no see? We're almost at the end of the fourth month of the year and I'm glad that 2017 has been pretty much more likable than last year... for now. I don't even know where to start with this post as so many things had happened and now I have to somehow fit in everything here because I’ve been procrastinating so long in posting anything new. Due to that, this post will be dedicated solely to what’s been happening in college so far for me. I tend to mention people by name just so I’ll remember them in the future but because of this, I’m worried that anyone whose name I’ve mentioned in this blog would one day read it. Whatever. Incoming super long boring post ahead. 

So far college’s been calm and stable unlike the first semester. Luckily. My new year’s resolution to be more social worked out I guess because I managed to talk to new people yay and became closer to people who were just mere acquaintances before this. And for a while, I thought that I’ve finally managed to come back to my actively participating secondary school self after feeling so suppressed in the first semester. Now that the programme’s going to end and finals are coming soon, it’s time to retreat to my comfort shell.

Academic wise, we still have the same old procrastinating Durrah who finishes her work last minute and prioritize the latest clips of Korean shows over her homework. It got worse with the responsibilities of being a part of the Photocomms department in the Student Council because there were so many posters and stuff to make with all the events happening. That explains the lowering marks of my Biology lab reports and project zzz. However! Alhamdulillah I’m faring better in Mathematics now compared to last semester and I’m actually doing Maths exercises ikr who would’ve thought that there will come a time whereby I prefer Maths over Biology lel. I mean, yo, good job for that 95 and above marks for the previous Maths tests! And good job for that full marks in your English research thesis woohoo. It was a fun experience writing out that thesis paper where each of us had to research on controversial issues, and I chose to write about the limited sex education in Malaysia. Meanwhile, there are friends of mine whose papers are about legalizing prostitution, marijuana, of homosexuality rights in adoption, abortion, etc. We also watched these two thought-provoking movies as a part of our literature which were Gattaca (starring Jude Law and Uma Thurman) that shows a future whereby almost everyone had a perfect genetic makeup and those who do not are shunned, and the movie Skin that focused on the apartheid nature of South Africa that discriminates the black community. The Growing Up Asian in Australia anthology that we studied too talks a lot on issues of racism, identity and belonging. As for Chemistry, well, let’s not talk about that HAHAHA.

Moving on. The MUFY Student Council successfully organized so many activities from scratch this semester which could not have happened without the cooperation of everyone in the council, especially our President (I hope he doesn’t read this haha hi Kajen). Sometimes I wished I joined in the January or March intake this year because of how fun it is compared to the last semester thanks to the student council (naik bakul angkat sendiri lol). Although us in Photocomms hardly was in charge of the event organization, we were in charge of designing the posters, the social media, photography and promoting any events like mad so that everyone joins in the fun. I was mainly making posters and backdrops with Amanda even though I am a total beginner who knows nothing about designing.

There were the two MUFY Orientation camps, one for the January intake and another for the March intake. I’m glad I’m not the one running around this time hahaha but was in charge of this mundane riddle game for both camps. It was fun though making new friends with the volunteers who helped out! I am also very done and amused at the same time with some of the group names like Versace, 99 Speedmart and Tentacles (with their group cheer going all MMMM TENTACLES ok ok u can stop now). 
the January camp poster done by yours truly soz was just starting out with Canva at that time so it looked very messy
ok I hope I improved for the March poster one
random picture
with 1/3 of the march intake!

Amanda and I also had to do the posters with the faces, names and quotes by our student council members at the beginning of the year. Let me just say how panicked we were because we both didn't know how to use Photoshop and didn't know how to remove the background behind people's faces hahahaha so we ended up using Microsoft Word... and Powerpoint... Here's just one page of our attempt with our faces on it (please zoom in on the pictures you'll find some entertaining quotes from us) :

Then we had the MUFY Bake Sale whereby the proceeds went to PAWS Animal Welfare Society. Didn't contribute much myself, but the sales went well! 
  we contemplated on putting our president's face on the board too to attract more people

The Sports department organized a Nerf War during the beginning of the year. Thankfully, us as council members get to go through the test run for free the day before the event so it was pretty fun screaming and running around shooting each other in the wide hall with Nerf guns. On the day of the event itself which lasted until 10PM on a Friday night, had a nice bonding session with the other members while the participants had a great time shooting people. Do you know how amazing it is that the winning group was called the Bin Ladens with one of the members' name literally being Usama I can't even. 
tq Prez for the poster

Ok I’m trying to remember what comes next. Oh right, the Spirit Week. There were themes for each day of the week and we just have to dress up according to the theme, with the winner getting prizes. There was Pyjamanday (lots of onesies spotted), Twinning Tuesday (the only one almost everyone joined in because it was easy), Gender Bender Wednesday (LOVED SEEING ALL THESE GUYS ROCKING DRESSES ON AND DOING BACKFLIPS HAHAHAHA), Tourist Thursday and Fandom Friday. I dressed up as Kaonashi/No-Face from Spirited Away on Friday and had fun walking around the campus anonymously. The costume was basically just me printing out the face and sticking it on a cardboard before sticking it on the opening of my mom’s black skirt before putting it on my head. Won the Fandom Friday lol. Check out more pictures on Instagram with the hashtag #mufyspiritweek ! 

Amazing posters done by Amanda, June and Peter! 
Fandoms of Rick & Morty, Spirited Away, The Purge, Sherlock Holmes, Saltbae, Suicide Squad and Where's Waldo? unite.

Just us doing the mannequin challenge super awkwardly

the winners!

What’s next is the MUFY Talent Quest which is a contest of showcasing your talents (duhh). Did the poster… which led to me making the tickets.. which led to me doing the backdrop for the show on real day for every contestant… which led to me being the one in charge of sitting in front of the stage in the corner controlling the slides on the projector and being the first to know the winners so that their names can be put in quickly before being shown to everyone. Dude I was just a normal audience sitting among the crowd six months ago what is this. It was fun, and I had the chance to be in the rehearsals watching all these talented people practice too. The winner did an amazing beatbox performance with the second place being a saxophone performance and the third place singing Adele’s song. There were also dance performances, a magic show, a girl playing the pipa hauntedly, and a diabolo performance (which I thought should have won I got goosebumps). 

idk who he is but he did a vlog of the talent quest! the talent quest is from 6:08 to 15:08 do watch! i would recommend watching the diabolo performance at 7:01, the song cover by my amazing jpa scholar buddy ruo wen at 7:15, the haunting pipa at 7:36 and the moment at 9:08 during the lecturers' special performance when everyone turned on their flashlights, the beautiful duet cover of alicia keys' if i ain't got you at 10:22, the 2nd emergence of adele at 10:45, the super lit beatbox performance afterwards who began it with PPAP hahahaha and finally rachneet's group dance performance ranging from sexy to bts' song suddenly appearing at 12:55. kudos to you if you actually went through all the ones i recommended I LOVE YOU!!

Right on the next day we had the MUFY Running Spartans, which was a parody of Running Man obviously. There were like 17 teams taking part with everyone having that t-shirt with names that can be ripped off. EVERYONE WAS SO VIOLENT THERE WERE SCRATCHES, BRUISES AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE IM NOT KIDDING. Not to mention that we used the whole college building from the North part to South, all four floors. I handled the station game where teams had to compete being in the photo frame with a certain pose within 10 seconds. It sounds like nothing but someone got injured and until now he still can’t walk properly, and these two teams was like chest-to-chest shouting at each other almost having a fist fight. I joined in one of the groups to replace someone and failed miserably lol got chased by three guys who killed me instantly. Had a fun day though!

the chaos in these pictures i tell you ah
with some of the participants

The upcoming event which would probably be our last event too is the MUFY Games on the 27th April. It’ll be like a Sports Day I guess and all the classes are cancelled for the day. Out of all the games, this girl here chose the least sports-like game to join.. CHARADES. Let’s hope it ends well later. Posters done by me, Peter and Amanda! 

So I guess that’s it for events. Are you still reading this? Wow. Amazing. Thank you. Anyway, we had these talks from Monash from different areas of study. Amira, Sharmilee, Phei Nie and I were probably the only insane one going to talks every day while most people only went for one or none hahaha. Went for the science, medicine, pharmacy and psychology talk. We also had to submit our university application forms by the 5th of April and yeah so it’s confirmed that my first choice is to do Psychological Science. Insya-Allah if nothing goes wrong and my application is accepted I’ll probably enter the July intake. 

That’s it for now about college! Here’s to one more month before pre-university ends, and… three more weeks to finals nOooOOoOOOOOOoo. Other things in life like feelings, entertainment and my birthday celebration will be saved for another post. Thanks for reading! 

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Here's to you.

I wish you wouldn't change who you truly are just to impress others. I wish what people think of you wouldn't matter much to you. I wish you realize how important you are; even to those who you think aren't important to you. I wish you could see yourself the way others see you - of respect, admiration and gratitude. I wish you know how much you have made other people's day a little less gloomy even by existing. I wish more happiness could come to your way, so that your infectious smile and laugh could make the world brighter. I wish you would stop comparing yourself to others; because you are you, they are they, and I am me; it's not a competition and we have different paths laid out for us. I wish the insecurities and toxic thoughts plaguing your mind, the ones that keep you up at 2AM, to just fade away and let you sleep peacefully. I wish you to be the bright sunshine you truly are, to not restrain yourself because you are worried of what others might think, because who are they to be put in first before you? I wish you could fight off the anxiety and stop listening to the voices in your head telling you that you are not good enough. I wish you realize that being different is okay, you don't have to be like everyone else just to feel accepted. I wish you could be comfortable in your own skin and soul. I wish that the beauty in little things or hardships force their way into your focus instead of the bits of the dark ones. I wish you to be stronger in facing all your future obstacles whether physically, emotionally or mentally. And finally, I wish one day you feel the happiness and love for yourself that you always deserved to have.