Assalamualaikum and hello!
Some life updates here. I am currently in the middle of an unpaid internship / full-time volunteer. Lol. Right after I wrote that previous post pulak tu and like already accepting my fate to not do anything for the rest of this break. It's like God is trying to tell me that I realized my lesson to be content and grateful, here you go, I don't know, but I find it quite funny.
Anyway, this wouldn't have happened without me reaaallly desperately trying hard for it, because the assessment included answering questions that totalled up to 1000 words, and the first time I did it, there was a technical problem on my side and all my answers disappeared. The same thing happened around four to five times, I almost gave up and was wondering if it's a sign from God telling me that this isn't for me haha. By the second time, I saved all my answers in a separate document just in case because it was a pain to re-type and squeeze my brains out every time.
Don't mind me always trying to find meaning by God every time something happens, this is my coping mechanism hahaha plus it's always good to believe that He has the best plans for you. So yeah, after that everything went smoothly. I'm compelled to compare how this interview went compared to my previous unsuccessful one. In the previous one, maybe because it was such a big organization, maybe my intention was wrong and that I was applying for it for its "prestige", I didn't think I was being myself and was probably forcing myself to act like I was confident when I was not. For this one, I don't know, I felt like it was.. safe? For me to be myself, admitting that not doing anything has lowered my self-esteem and made me felt insecure? I also felt like it was a place where it's alright to be just me, just being open about my emotions, unlike others who might deem those things unsuitable for their image of professional-like perhaps. With this place being a mental health centre too, it really aligns with my goals to become a clinical psychologist and I cannot be more thankful to be accepted in. Again, I'm imagining this is God's way of telling me to stop being so distracted by other ... "shiny"... paths... and to stay in my lane hahahaha. Funny how this is also the last application I made too because I was really like ooo let's try out other sectors first.
What I'm thankful for isn't just the experience, but that it gives me the motivation to structure my days at least. At least I'm trying to sleep early before 12 to get 8 hours of sleep. At least I'm eating three times a day, especially breakfast (which was rare before this). At least I'm showering twice a day. lol ok that was too much information. At least my mind and time are occupied instead of dwelling on negative thoughts.
Yeah, so I guess that's it. I've been keeping up with this Malaysian singing show called Gegarvaganza. Yes, it's that show watched by a lot of aunties and uncles perhaps, don't ask me how I got hooked. Currently really rooting for Cliff Umar, but I also want to see Linda Nanuwil, Ayu, Ashira and maybe Mus in the top 5 all the way to finals! This show really gives me something to look forward to every week as it airs on Sunday nights live.
Thanks for reading this. Have a great week ahead!
No comments:
Post a Comment