Hi, it's me again. How are you?
I miss writing without pressure. Right now, I'm in the midst of attempting to do my assignments, but it's been pretty unproductive. Sad. So no pressure really, Durrah. Just write whatever that comes into your mind here.
I've been in Melbourne for exactly 86 days and have another 36 days left of the semester here. Hehe I'm not keeping track because I hate it here or anything, I just can't wait till the pressure of academics gets lifted for a while. I might also miss Malaysia a teeny bit. Maybe a lot. Lel. I mean of course I miss my family and friends but even if they all get shipped here and somehow become residents here I'll still want to go back to Malaysia HAHAHA. Sometimes I'll be walking in the malls here and my mind will be like, sigh, I miss Midvalley/Nu Sentral/Amcorp. Can you believe it? Out of all the things that pop up in my head, Malaysian malls are something I didn't expect to miss.
Not to mention, I miss how cheap the food is back in Malaysia and the variety they have. An average meal here outside is 15 AUD. Which is equivalent to RM45. I mean, even in Malaysia I never bought Starbucks or Boost drinks because to me anything above RM10 is ridiculously overpriced so imagine the initial horror I had coming here. Nowadays I end up buying 2 AUD packs of uncooked pasta with 2 AUD cans of sauce that could probably make like, 4 meals? Totally haven't been stingy ahah. Come to think of it, the living cost here is very, very high. The average accommodation fees here is 200 AUD per week. That's like RM600. I had a headache finding a place to stay here in the beginning but alhamdulillah, I got to stay in this place for less than 190 AUD per month! Lol yeah it's Malaysia Hall which is funded by the government for Malaysian students here but I'm so thankful for the existence of this place or else you'll find me sleeping out in the cold ahaha. But then again, the average wage rates here are quite high. The minimum wage for working students here is 20 AUD per hour... so in a day if you work for let's say 8 hours you would already get RM420. brb moving here to pick strawberries and oranges on a farm like a lot of malaysians do now i understand why they do it lol
So yeah, the place where I'm staying is one hour away from my university by public transport. I have to walk a bit before taking the tram, and then the train, and then the bus to reach uni. Repeat the opposite way to go back. Surprisingly, I don't feel that tired or burned out like I expected myself to be. I haven't skipped a single lecture or tutorial yet despite sometimes having to move by 6.30 AM to go for an 8AM class three days a week (except for that one day to go for solat raya during raya haji). The weather's getting warmer now but for two months it has been freezing to the point where I would get frequent nosebleeds in the train because of the cold temperature. But yeah, I got to calmly finish my readings for the week on my way to classes or typing frantically in my laptop to finish assignments due soon.
The learning style here is quite similar back in Monash Malaysia, except that there's a lot of other disciples here. There are people doing astronomy, music, Mathematics, etc or even a combination of the two for example. What amazes me are that a lot of people here are doing double degrees on top of having a job at the same time. I really love how passionate the people here are in the field of study they are in. Another interesting observation here is that I can totally point out that Australia is an individualistic country. So in psychology, we learnt that Asian countries are collectivists in nature, meaning we like to do stuff in groups, not stand out, ensure everyone is getting along etc. The phrase "If a nail sticks up, hammer it down." describes our belief. As for Western countries, usually, they are encouraged to be different from the rest, be independent and prioritize your interests over others. A fitting saying that describes their belief is "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" (my bad quality translation: if you're loud enough, you'll get attention and what you want.) Me and my fellow exchange friend take all the same units and sit in classes together, but almost no one here goes to classes with their friends / ikut kawan. They have no problem shouting answers from all the way at the back of the lecture theatre voluntarily. But then again, similar to Malaysia people would leave a number of the front rows in lectures empty hahaha and there's a lot of the frustrating silence of no one trying to answer questions posed by the lecturer. As for my assignments...... I definitely should NOT have taken this one third-year unit because I'm getting by poorly in it. In a recent assignment for that unit, I got a very low mark (probably the lowest I've gotten since Add Maths in Form 4) which carried a lot of weightage for the final marks and had a mental breakdown HAHAHAHA cue emotional Durrah for a week (I'm still not over it tbh). In that overreacting state of mine I was panickily checking the JPA requirements for the grades I had to maintain to see if I might get my bursary taken back and I have to pay back for my degree lel.
My mental health's been going topsy-turvy here and it's pretty tiring tbh. I am okay most of the time and am fine now but there are times when my brain gets short-circuited or something and I end up feeling terrible for no reason. There was a particularly terrible week where I was crying every day, up to three times a day at one point. I was crying even in uni and in the tram and later on the train. Don't ask me why I was pretty confused myself. I ended up not being able to focus on my assignments at that time and totally bombed them, resulting in low marks for one. I felt so sorry and terrible for my family and friends who had to read my emotional messages at that time, especially to my family who was happily celebrating the wedding of a cousin of mine. It's pretty funny because during that time, my meltdown got worse because Wanna One was in Melbourne and I entered five giveaways for their concert tickets and won none.. and they were walking around the city at the same time as I was and I didn't spot them... and I missed my stop in the train and ended up near the stadium they would be performing at HAHAHHAHA. IT ADDED UP TO MY SADNESS AT THAT TIME OK SHHH omg you are already 20 years old Durrah this isn't something you should get upset over lol
Now let's talk about friends. I only talk to my roommate and my fellow exchange friend from Monash Malaysia on a regular basis here lol why is this so sad. I get really anxious when I get back from uni and would avoid even eye contact with the other people living in my place as I walk to my room for the first few weeks. I have tried to force myself to join their activities though and had fun playing card games, watching horror movies, and listening to them karaoke-ing some nights. It just feels weird being the newcomer here while the rest of the people here have a close-knit bond with each other, living here for years and would be graduating after this semester together. They're pretty cool though, with most of them being scholars studying mainly engineering. I did get to meet up with Hidayati and Chandra who are studying here and it's always nice to see them! Congratulations to Chandra for recently being elected as the president for the Malaysian Association of Students here in the Victoria state woohoo she's amazing I tell you she's involved in every event I go to whether it's hosted by Malaysia Hall or MASCA (the Malaysian student organization here) or Kelab UMNO... you name it.
I've been doing a lot of stuff on my own here too. Although I'd like to jokingly say it's because I have no friends who are willing to accompany me (jkjk) there's just a sense of liberation in experiencing things alone here. I watched Crazy Rich Asians in the cinema on my own (and missed Malaysia a lot while watching it). I had brunch at this fancy place alone to celebrate myself completing an assignment. I went to an art exhibition in the national gallery here by myself and loved the artwork I was seeing. I explored streets on my own, even the dangerous ones that I only had knowledge of later hahaha but I ended up buying a lot of cheap clothes there. I get lost in the middle of nowhere too many times and ran under the rain in the midst of it but thank god for Google maps. It can be scary at times, especially when I go back home at night, or on a Friday/Saturday night where the streets are filled with drunk people but the experience is exhilarating? I think the latest I've gone back by myself is at 12AM.
If the previous statement worried you, don't worry I haven't been doing any haram stuff ahaha alhamdulillah I haven't gotten culture shocked or anything. I've been attending events organized by the Islamic organization in my uni and in the place where I'm staying hehe. Also, the girl who always leads the prayer in my uni's prayer place has been calling me senpai for whatever reason. Do I look like a weeaboo in the eyes of everyone.
Moving on to other random stuff. I've been listening to a lot of music by DAY6. They are amazing. I went to their concert here and it was my first ever K-Pop concert I've been to! They performed very well live and the atmosphere that night as everyone was singing along and having fun just felt.. infinite. Been listening to Pentagon's Shine and IKON's Love Scenario on repeat too hehehe they never fail to lift my mood up. Recently, I've been getting into Seventeen thanks to AO3 (do Carats have a superior writing quality or something) and am pretty much loving their discography and how much effort they put in their performances. I'm so impressed that they self-produced their songs (jihoon u amazing, talented person) and make their own choreography (how does soonyoung do it). Not to mention, they have a really great leader and as I was watching their reality show I can't help thinking ah no wonder their teamwork and spirits are so good it's because their leader is like that (good job seungcheol). My biases at the moment are Mingyu and Wonwoo hurhur no need to wonder which ship do I read about the most.
One of the things I will miss a lot here is the beautiful scenery. If you don't know, I like looking at buildings. Especially tall ones. Especially majestic looking ones. Like, my favorite thing about Kuala Lumpur while I was interning there was all the tall buildings which all seemed to have their own personality. And Melbourne is full of them. I can't even choose if I like the gleaming, glass office skyscrapers more or ancient, looming, earthy-toned buildings originating from hundreds of years ago. I found out that there was a period of a gold rush in Melbourne at a point, resulting them to build all these gigantic buildings in the past like the cathedrals and the town hall.
So yeah, I guess this is the end of my procrastination for now. Yesterday I finished writing my essay on the radicalization of Muslim youth in Australia which was quite an interesting topic to research on but it was very soul-sucking and it ended up having 22 citations. Now I have two other literature reviews due.. one about the effects of mindfulness on post-traumatic stress disorder and another about food addiction and seeing if it's an actual thing or not hahaha. Please pray that I'll do well on them. Whew, three more weeks of classes, one study week and two weeks of finals to go through and I'll be done for this semester! Wow I've actually survived 12 weeks here ahah.
I've started fantasizing about what I'll do when I'm back in Malaysia. For the past three years, I've been working/interning during every year-end break and I really just feel like taking a rest now. Meanwhile, people are already asking me where I'll be interning later lel. I don't know. Honestly, I have no interest whatsoever working in the corporate sectors, although I know that getting experience there would look good on paper. What I am really interested in are organizations like the Women's Aid Organization, the Malaysian Mental Health Association and like UNHCR, UNICEF, UNDP and related associations hahaha. I mean I know a lot of people assume that it's not profitable and wouldn't be stable etc etc but idk maybe I'm privileged enough to not have to worry about those stuff but I really want to be involved with giving back to people. I'm also very interested in volunteering with Petrosains hahaha. But yeah, most of all I feel like I need to spend time with my grandmother more. I also want to re-learn how to drive since I haven't driven since I got my license.. two years ago. And probably hike up Bukit Gasing and Broga Hills. Ah, the things I want to do when I go back.
Okay, I really need to go now. I'll come back with a more detailed explanation of what I've done here with pictures! Goodbye.
I miss writing without pressure. Right now, I'm in the midst of attempting to do my assignments, but it's been pretty unproductive. Sad. So no pressure really, Durrah. Just write whatever that comes into your mind here.
I've been in Melbourne for exactly 86 days and have another 36 days left of the semester here. Hehe I'm not keeping track because I hate it here or anything, I just can't wait till the pressure of academics gets lifted for a while. I might also miss Malaysia a teeny bit. Maybe a lot. Lel. I mean of course I miss my family and friends but even if they all get shipped here and somehow become residents here I'll still want to go back to Malaysia HAHAHA. Sometimes I'll be walking in the malls here and my mind will be like, sigh, I miss Midvalley/Nu Sentral/Amcorp. Can you believe it? Out of all the things that pop up in my head, Malaysian malls are something I didn't expect to miss.
Not to mention, I miss how cheap the food is back in Malaysia and the variety they have. An average meal here outside is 15 AUD. Which is equivalent to RM45. I mean, even in Malaysia I never bought Starbucks or Boost drinks because to me anything above RM10 is ridiculously overpriced so imagine the initial horror I had coming here. Nowadays I end up buying 2 AUD packs of uncooked pasta with 2 AUD cans of sauce that could probably make like, 4 meals? Totally haven't been stingy ahah. Come to think of it, the living cost here is very, very high. The average accommodation fees here is 200 AUD per week. That's like RM600. I had a headache finding a place to stay here in the beginning but alhamdulillah, I got to stay in this place for less than 190 AUD per month! Lol yeah it's Malaysia Hall which is funded by the government for Malaysian students here but I'm so thankful for the existence of this place or else you'll find me sleeping out in the cold ahaha. But then again, the average wage rates here are quite high. The minimum wage for working students here is 20 AUD per hour... so in a day if you work for let's say 8 hours you would already get RM420. brb moving here to pick strawberries and oranges on a farm like a lot of malaysians do now i understand why they do it lol
So yeah, the place where I'm staying is one hour away from my university by public transport. I have to walk a bit before taking the tram, and then the train, and then the bus to reach uni. Repeat the opposite way to go back. Surprisingly, I don't feel that tired or burned out like I expected myself to be. I haven't skipped a single lecture or tutorial yet despite sometimes having to move by 6.30 AM to go for an 8AM class three days a week (except for that one day to go for solat raya during raya haji). The weather's getting warmer now but for two months it has been freezing to the point where I would get frequent nosebleeds in the train because of the cold temperature. But yeah, I got to calmly finish my readings for the week on my way to classes or typing frantically in my laptop to finish assignments due soon.
The learning style here is quite similar back in Monash Malaysia, except that there's a lot of other disciples here. There are people doing astronomy, music, Mathematics, etc or even a combination of the two for example. What amazes me are that a lot of people here are doing double degrees on top of having a job at the same time. I really love how passionate the people here are in the field of study they are in. Another interesting observation here is that I can totally point out that Australia is an individualistic country. So in psychology, we learnt that Asian countries are collectivists in nature, meaning we like to do stuff in groups, not stand out, ensure everyone is getting along etc. The phrase "If a nail sticks up, hammer it down." describes our belief. As for Western countries, usually, they are encouraged to be different from the rest, be independent and prioritize your interests over others. A fitting saying that describes their belief is "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" (my bad quality translation: if you're loud enough, you'll get attention and what you want.) Me and my fellow exchange friend take all the same units and sit in classes together, but almost no one here goes to classes with their friends / ikut kawan. They have no problem shouting answers from all the way at the back of the lecture theatre voluntarily. But then again, similar to Malaysia people would leave a number of the front rows in lectures empty hahaha and there's a lot of the frustrating silence of no one trying to answer questions posed by the lecturer. As for my assignments...... I definitely should NOT have taken this one third-year unit because I'm getting by poorly in it. In a recent assignment for that unit, I got a very low mark (probably the lowest I've gotten since Add Maths in Form 4) which carried a lot of weightage for the final marks and had a mental breakdown HAHAHAHA cue emotional Durrah for a week (I'm still not over it tbh). In that overreacting state of mine I was panickily checking the JPA requirements for the grades I had to maintain to see if I might get my bursary taken back and I have to pay back for my degree lel.
My mental health's been going topsy-turvy here and it's pretty tiring tbh. I am okay most of the time and am fine now but there are times when my brain gets short-circuited or something and I end up feeling terrible for no reason. There was a particularly terrible week where I was crying every day, up to three times a day at one point. I was crying even in uni and in the tram and later on the train. Don't ask me why I was pretty confused myself. I ended up not being able to focus on my assignments at that time and totally bombed them, resulting in low marks for one. I felt so sorry and terrible for my family and friends who had to read my emotional messages at that time, especially to my family who was happily celebrating the wedding of a cousin of mine. It's pretty funny because during that time, my meltdown got worse because Wanna One was in Melbourne and I entered five giveaways for their concert tickets and won none.. and they were walking around the city at the same time as I was and I didn't spot them... and I missed my stop in the train and ended up near the stadium they would be performing at HAHAHHAHA. IT ADDED UP TO MY SADNESS AT THAT TIME OK SHHH omg you are already 20 years old Durrah this isn't something you should get upset over lol
Now let's talk about friends. I only talk to my roommate and my fellow exchange friend from Monash Malaysia on a regular basis here lol why is this so sad. I get really anxious when I get back from uni and would avoid even eye contact with the other people living in my place as I walk to my room for the first few weeks. I have tried to force myself to join their activities though and had fun playing card games, watching horror movies, and listening to them karaoke-ing some nights. It just feels weird being the newcomer here while the rest of the people here have a close-knit bond with each other, living here for years and would be graduating after this semester together. They're pretty cool though, with most of them being scholars studying mainly engineering. I did get to meet up with Hidayati and Chandra who are studying here and it's always nice to see them! Congratulations to Chandra for recently being elected as the president for the Malaysian Association of Students here in the Victoria state woohoo she's amazing I tell you she's involved in every event I go to whether it's hosted by Malaysia Hall or MASCA (the Malaysian student organization here) or Kelab UMNO... you name it.
I've been doing a lot of stuff on my own here too. Although I'd like to jokingly say it's because I have no friends who are willing to accompany me (jkjk) there's just a sense of liberation in experiencing things alone here. I watched Crazy Rich Asians in the cinema on my own (and missed Malaysia a lot while watching it). I had brunch at this fancy place alone to celebrate myself completing an assignment. I went to an art exhibition in the national gallery here by myself and loved the artwork I was seeing. I explored streets on my own, even the dangerous ones that I only had knowledge of later hahaha but I ended up buying a lot of cheap clothes there. I get lost in the middle of nowhere too many times and ran under the rain in the midst of it but thank god for Google maps. It can be scary at times, especially when I go back home at night, or on a Friday/Saturday night where the streets are filled with drunk people but the experience is exhilarating? I think the latest I've gone back by myself is at 12AM.
If the previous statement worried you, don't worry I haven't been doing any haram stuff ahaha alhamdulillah I haven't gotten culture shocked or anything. I've been attending events organized by the Islamic organization in my uni and in the place where I'm staying hehe. Also, the girl who always leads the prayer in my uni's prayer place has been calling me senpai for whatever reason. Do I look like a weeaboo in the eyes of everyone.
Moving on to other random stuff. I've been listening to a lot of music by DAY6. They are amazing. I went to their concert here and it was my first ever K-Pop concert I've been to! They performed very well live and the atmosphere that night as everyone was singing along and having fun just felt.. infinite. Been listening to Pentagon's Shine and IKON's Love Scenario on repeat too hehehe they never fail to lift my mood up. Recently, I've been getting into Seventeen thanks to AO3 (do Carats have a superior writing quality or something) and am pretty much loving their discography and how much effort they put in their performances. I'm so impressed that they self-produced their songs (jihoon u amazing, talented person) and make their own choreography (how does soonyoung do it). Not to mention, they have a really great leader and as I was watching their reality show I can't help thinking ah no wonder their teamwork and spirits are so good it's because their leader is like that (good job seungcheol). My biases at the moment are Mingyu and Wonwoo hurhur no need to wonder which ship do I read about the most.
One of the things I will miss a lot here is the beautiful scenery. If you don't know, I like looking at buildings. Especially tall ones. Especially majestic looking ones. Like, my favorite thing about Kuala Lumpur while I was interning there was all the tall buildings which all seemed to have their own personality. And Melbourne is full of them. I can't even choose if I like the gleaming, glass office skyscrapers more or ancient, looming, earthy-toned buildings originating from hundreds of years ago. I found out that there was a period of a gold rush in Melbourne at a point, resulting them to build all these gigantic buildings in the past like the cathedrals and the town hall.
So yeah, I guess this is the end of my procrastination for now. Yesterday I finished writing my essay on the radicalization of Muslim youth in Australia which was quite an interesting topic to research on but it was very soul-sucking and it ended up having 22 citations. Now I have two other literature reviews due.. one about the effects of mindfulness on post-traumatic stress disorder and another about food addiction and seeing if it's an actual thing or not hahaha. Please pray that I'll do well on them. Whew, three more weeks of classes, one study week and two weeks of finals to go through and I'll be done for this semester! Wow I've actually survived 12 weeks here ahah.
I've started fantasizing about what I'll do when I'm back in Malaysia. For the past three years, I've been working/interning during every year-end break and I really just feel like taking a rest now. Meanwhile, people are already asking me where I'll be interning later lel. I don't know. Honestly, I have no interest whatsoever working in the corporate sectors, although I know that getting experience there would look good on paper. What I am really interested in are organizations like the Women's Aid Organization, the Malaysian Mental Health Association and like UNHCR, UNICEF, UNDP and related associations hahaha. I mean I know a lot of people assume that it's not profitable and wouldn't be stable etc etc but idk maybe I'm privileged enough to not have to worry about those stuff but I really want to be involved with giving back to people. I'm also very interested in volunteering with Petrosains hahaha. But yeah, most of all I feel like I need to spend time with my grandmother more. I also want to re-learn how to drive since I haven't driven since I got my license.. two years ago. And probably hike up Bukit Gasing and Broga Hills. Ah, the things I want to do when I go back.
Okay, I really need to go now. I'll come back with a more detailed explanation of what I've done here with pictures! Goodbye.
I just wanna say... thank you so much for sharing about the financial aspect of living abroad. I've been considering going for the exchange program in my uni and am curious about the living expenses. Your experience here kinda helps me see the realistic picture.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've been listening to Pentagon too!! iKON and Pentagon! 20 yo is probably still a good age to be upset over your fav group. Totally normal ahaha