Depression.

I miss everyone.
I miss the people I have not meet yet.
Does that makes sense? My brain is totally dead right now. If I keep up with the way I'm living right now, I reckon I would be dead before I turn 20. Seriously. Must start exercising. Must eat vegetables. Must finish Smart Holidays. Must read the form 3 textbooks. All before 2013 starts.
It's been a long time since I ramble about stuff. I watched The Romantic and Idol until episode 4 because episode 5 isn't out yet. I can't believe there's only 8 episodes in one season. I looked up the idols' profile and ...

ASDGHJKL. He reads Haruki Murakami's books. Imagine how surprised I was because when I saw this, my free hand was holding Haruki Murakami's Dance Dance Dance. 

Speaking of the book, this one paragraph kinda describes how I am now (not that I'm 34).

"Some parts, sure. I'm not unhappy. But I'm like you. I feel like something's missing. I'm living a normal life, I suppose. I'm dancing. I know the steps, and I'm dancing. It's all right. But socially speaking, I've got nothing. I'm thirty four. I'm not married, I don't have a regular job, I live from day to day. I can't get a public housing loan. I'm not sleeping with anybody. What am I going to be like in thirty years?"

Hmm what else do I blabber about. Do friends last actually? Sure, they do, for a very very long time. But in the end, it always comes down to you and your family. I see my grandmother living with me and I never see her with her friends. I wonder when I am around her age, will I forget all about my life in primary and secondary school? Will I not remember the times when I am obsessed about Korean idols, fangirling about them? Will the memories of me hanging out with my friends just be lost? Those thoughts are kind of sad actually. 

It's 2AM already. Assalamualaikum and good ni - morning!