Assalamualaikum and hello. I am writing this in desperate need of wanting to have something to do or else I might turn mad. Also, please excuse any dramatic or exaggerated style of writing here as I just finished reading seven books from the Princess Diaries series and it may have influenced my thinking somehow. Usually I would categorize my posts so that there's only one topic at a time but for this one, well, oh, whatever. My mind is already in a mess as it is. Sorry not sorry for the lack of pictures.
Still the same old issue, I'm still rotting at home and wasting my youth for the sixth month. I might actually throw up from the lack of activity. Entertainment wise, let's see. Watched X-Men: Apocalypse, X-Men: Days of Future Past, The Huntsman: Winter's War, Snow White and The Huntsman, The Jungle Book, Ada Apa Dengan Cinta, Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 2, Captain America: Civil War, Life of Pi, Princess Diaries, The Perks of Being A Wallflower, some Weekly Idol episodes, shows related to the IOI girls and NCT Life both in Bangkok and Seoul. I might have missed out some more movies.
I do realize that I subconsciously like to turn everything into a list. Maybe that way, I feel like I have accomplished something more? Never mind.
Let's talk about things I am not comfortable with, aka, DRIVING. I didn't know it was possible for me to be so bad at something until I started being in the driver's seat. During one of the classes I actually burst the front tyre of the car by driving straight into a divider. And in another class I actually destroyed the gear part of the car and the teacher can no longer change the gears afterwards (had to pay for the damage). And the test. Ya Allah, the test. I won't delve in the details of it as the experience was quite embarrassing (and even worse than the classes itself) and to cut things short, I failed the test. And broke three mandatory rules. I can't imagine how it'll be for the motorcycle test. I've been to 11 classes and I still can't balance myself properly on the bike, let alone go through the circuit cleanly. I am still struggling with the passing through the titian and going through the cone and riding through the bumps (because it's near the cafeteria and whenever I start, the motorcycle makes this noise and everyone stares and I get all embarrassed and just skip that part), as well as being confused at the emergency brake part. Plus, the test for motorcycle is held only ONCE A MONTH! The earliest I might even get to go through it might only be in September! oMG and I'm probably starting college in July.
Speaking of college. Yes, the feeling of uselessness is magnified by a thousand times now that more people of my age are already starting their foundation in IPTS (private universities), IPTAs (public universities) like UM, UiTM, UIA etc., STPM, and matriculation. Okay, here we have an update regarding my education status as of now. As you might know, out of all the scholarships I've tried out for, I was accepted by Petronas to do Law in UK! However, I rejected it as my family and I don't think I am suited for that field of study (what's with me having trouble with speaking up and all) and the place of study (not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just that some of my mum's friends' children who studied there ended up being sent back by psychiatrists etc. for not being able to handle with the pressure and my parents thought it was better being safe than sorry, and there was that issue with my brother too). Of course at first I had no trouble rejecting it but later as I followed my mum for this inter-school competition with the winner getting to compete in Copenhagen, Denmark, there's this sudden heartache in my heart saying you won't be able to study overseas. That heartache kept on bugging me as my friends did get and accepted scholarships to study abroad after their pre-university programmes, and me, who was influenced by the book Love, Rosie, can't help asking myself if I'll end up being the Rosie. One day I was staying at my kampung and as the night came and everyone went asleep but my mind was still racing from those thoughts, I took my mum's phone (the Internet in my own phone wasn't good) to search for available scholarships for psychology in Australian universities (which is probably the only country my mum would allow me to study overseas at) and there were almost none. Sobs.
There was also the JPA bursary for SPM 2015 9A+ and above students whereby they will sponsor fully the pre-university programmes in all IPTA and selected IPTS like IMU, Taylors, Nottingham, UTP, Monash, etc. Students can select to continue on being sponsored for their degree locally, with the condition that they work with the government later on. So like, you can choose to just be sponsored doing your A-Levels and later on apply for a scholarship and study overseas, or you can choose to be sponsored continuing your degree here. After much consideration, my parents and I agreed to have me study psychology in Monash University Malaysia with the foundation year being done in Sunway College. And guess what? Amira will also be doing the same but she'll be studying Medic! The perks of studying there is for example, medic students, their housemanship in their final year will be done in Australia. And for other students, we have a chance to study for one semester or more in Monash University Australia for no additional tuition cost. Yesterday we had a briefing about it in Sunway University (where Amira and I realized we were the only Malays using our JPA bursary to study there) and we had the tour at the residency we'll be staying in if we choose to (as this is also sponsored for JPA) and each room has their own fridge, television and aircond MASYAALLAH. That was my second time in Sunway University, the first being me registering for MUFY. Random but my mum also brought me to Monash University twice, the first being us meeting her friend and the head of the psychology department, and the second for a psychology talk there. So InsyaAllah, if nothing goes wrong, I will be studying there starting 20th July. Although this decision didn't come easily, as UPU results came out too.
I actually got my first choice for UPU, which is to study Asasi Sains Hayat in UM. If I do go there, I plan to study something like Biochemistry/Chemistry. And a lot of my friends got UM too! Being the university my mum is teaching at, and me knowing that it is a good institution besides me already being comfortable there, of course there was a bit of an argument as I was interested to study there too. At least studying in an IPTA means you can relate to everyone else and already have friends there sobs. And then the results of MARA scholarship came out and I was offered to study IB in Kolej Mara Banting and later on continue in Applied Science (Biology) overseas. Another argument ensued. It was hard rejecting those two, I was heartbroken and crying ahahaha. I am still not over them but InsyaAllah, I believe my parents know what's best for me and what's most important is getting their blessings as nothing can work out without it. Also, Alhamdulillah so, so much as I actually have choices and offers when some people don't.
Oh, I also turned 18. Nothing changed. However, I got an ukulele for my birthday with a typical beginners book. You should know that I have zero musical experience and I cannot read any musical notes. But there was plenty of time, so I struggled by myself with the help of the book and Youtube, learning how to strum and read/play the different chords. One month later, alhamdulillah I can now play it.. normally (?) Ok lah can play the A, F, G, C, D, Dm, Bb, Am, Em chords although some are quite impossible like E how the heck do you extend your fingers that far?? And some K-Pop songs are impossible to play but I'LL KEEP ON LEARNING.
Because this is a post I did randomly, might as well put on some more random things. Went to see 2NE1's Dara in Midvalley where she promoted Moonshot with my cousin Mira. Wow, second Korean idol I got to meet for free this year ahahha. Oh no, I just remembered a terrible experience that happened recently. As Mira was staying over for a week, my mum suggested something like this, "Apa kata practice pergi Sunway and balik rumah naik public transport?" since I'll be studying nearby there. Going there was no problem using the LRT and RapidKL bus. We went ice skating at Sunway Pyramid. Going back though. We planned to take the bus to the Kelana Jaya LRT station but somehow went on another bus which we thought would bring us to KL Sentral and would cut us a lot of time, and it was THE WRONG BUS. By the end of the journey, we were the only two left in the bus and the driver was like asking us where do we actually want to go and he told us we got on the wrong bus so we had to get off the bus at god knows where and it was like in the evening and starting to rain heavily. Not knowing where we were, we walked to the petrol station not knowing what to do and went to look for a taxi. We got one, but going to the Kelana Jaya LRT station was tough because of the super heavy traffic jam and the anxiousness of being in a taxi. AND GUESS WHAT. THE FEE WAS OVER RM30!!!!!!! I was so mad at myself. So bla bla bla went home safely, although the journey back started at 4.30PM plus and ended at 7PM plus. Let's just say I am now a bit traumatized of going on a public transport that is not KTM or LRT.
Moving on to a less serious topic. Tablo replied to my tweet and answered with a video from Epik High. Read three Jenny Han books, and continued with the Shopaholic series. Started reading the Princess Diaries series and am now at the seventh book (why am I repeating this). Started reading The Lunar Chronicles and finished it, apparent from that fan cast I did previously. Wrote two articles for Niexter, one an album review of Lee Hi's Seoulite and another about my scholarship assessment experience. It's sad to know that I no longer have writing as a source of income since I can no longer write for stuff@school, and that brought me more than 2k in my bank account sobs. I can't believe I haven't been using the money at all for concerts, albums or merchandise. SEE, I'M A GOOD MONEY SAVER AND DAUGHTER.
Met up with my primary school best friends Balqis and Farah together with Sharon for my birthday to watch a movie and later on ate for the first time at Bulgogi Brothers. Thank god I ordered food which wasn't as spicy as the others did as they struggled amusingly to finish theirs. Then went out with Zhee Qi and Aisyah to Urbanscapes House and later on Galeri Petronas in KLCC. It was definitely a good experience, and you can read about the whole story here on Zhee Qi's blog: http://tree4pokok.blogspot.my/2016/05/urbanscapes-house-galeri-petronas.html . Had a short getaway with my family at Lexis Hibiscus, Port Dickson. I also went to my school's Teachers Day celebration and had lots of fun watching the teachers in school uniforms and having fun. Especially loved Encik Alias' short film of the year.
I guess this is the end of this very confusing post. It's such a shame that I was just reading two successful high-achieving, inspirational students' blogs and compared to theirs, mine is very.. potato-like. Sigh. I pray for the time I will come into terms with myself and be more confident.
As this is a visual-lacking post, I'll just put out the songs/albums I've been listening to in point form:
Bye.
Still the same old issue, I'm still rotting at home and wasting my youth for the sixth month. I might actually throw up from the lack of activity. Entertainment wise, let's see. Watched X-Men: Apocalypse, X-Men: Days of Future Past, The Huntsman: Winter's War, Snow White and The Huntsman, The Jungle Book, Ada Apa Dengan Cinta, Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 2, Captain America: Civil War, Life of Pi, Princess Diaries, The Perks of Being A Wallflower, some Weekly Idol episodes, shows related to the IOI girls and NCT Life both in Bangkok and Seoul. I might have missed out some more movies.
I do realize that I subconsciously like to turn everything into a list. Maybe that way, I feel like I have accomplished something more? Never mind.
Let's talk about things I am not comfortable with, aka, DRIVING. I didn't know it was possible for me to be so bad at something until I started being in the driver's seat. During one of the classes I actually burst the front tyre of the car by driving straight into a divider. And in another class I actually destroyed the gear part of the car and the teacher can no longer change the gears afterwards (had to pay for the damage). And the test. Ya Allah, the test. I won't delve in the details of it as the experience was quite embarrassing (and even worse than the classes itself) and to cut things short, I failed the test. And broke three mandatory rules. I can't imagine how it'll be for the motorcycle test. I've been to 11 classes and I still can't balance myself properly on the bike, let alone go through the circuit cleanly. I am still struggling with the passing through the titian and going through the cone and riding through the bumps (because it's near the cafeteria and whenever I start, the motorcycle makes this noise and everyone stares and I get all embarrassed and just skip that part), as well as being confused at the emergency brake part. Plus, the test for motorcycle is held only ONCE A MONTH! The earliest I might even get to go through it might only be in September! oMG and I'm probably starting college in July.
Speaking of college. Yes, the feeling of uselessness is magnified by a thousand times now that more people of my age are already starting their foundation in IPTS (private universities), IPTAs (public universities) like UM, UiTM, UIA etc., STPM, and matriculation. Okay, here we have an update regarding my education status as of now. As you might know, out of all the scholarships I've tried out for, I was accepted by Petronas to do Law in UK! However, I rejected it as my family and I don't think I am suited for that field of study (what's with me having trouble with speaking up and all) and the place of study (not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just that some of my mum's friends' children who studied there ended up being sent back by psychiatrists etc. for not being able to handle with the pressure and my parents thought it was better being safe than sorry, and there was that issue with my brother too). Of course at first I had no trouble rejecting it but later as I followed my mum for this inter-school competition with the winner getting to compete in Copenhagen, Denmark, there's this sudden heartache in my heart saying you won't be able to study overseas. That heartache kept on bugging me as my friends did get and accepted scholarships to study abroad after their pre-university programmes, and me, who was influenced by the book Love, Rosie, can't help asking myself if I'll end up being the Rosie. One day I was staying at my kampung and as the night came and everyone went asleep but my mind was still racing from those thoughts, I took my mum's phone (the Internet in my own phone wasn't good) to search for available scholarships for psychology in Australian universities (which is probably the only country my mum would allow me to study overseas at) and there were almost none. Sobs.
There was also the JPA bursary for SPM 2015 9A+ and above students whereby they will sponsor fully the pre-university programmes in all IPTA and selected IPTS like IMU, Taylors, Nottingham, UTP, Monash, etc. Students can select to continue on being sponsored for their degree locally, with the condition that they work with the government later on. So like, you can choose to just be sponsored doing your A-Levels and later on apply for a scholarship and study overseas, or you can choose to be sponsored continuing your degree here. After much consideration, my parents and I agreed to have me study psychology in Monash University Malaysia with the foundation year being done in Sunway College. And guess what? Amira will also be doing the same but she'll be studying Medic! The perks of studying there is for example, medic students, their housemanship in their final year will be done in Australia. And for other students, we have a chance to study for one semester or more in Monash University Australia for no additional tuition cost. Yesterday we had a briefing about it in Sunway University (where Amira and I realized we were the only Malays using our JPA bursary to study there) and we had the tour at the residency we'll be staying in if we choose to (as this is also sponsored for JPA) and each room has their own fridge, television and aircond MASYAALLAH. That was my second time in Sunway University, the first being me registering for MUFY. Random but my mum also brought me to Monash University twice, the first being us meeting her friend and the head of the psychology department, and the second for a psychology talk there. So InsyaAllah, if nothing goes wrong, I will be studying there starting 20th July. Although this decision didn't come easily, as UPU results came out too.
I actually got my first choice for UPU, which is to study Asasi Sains Hayat in UM. If I do go there, I plan to study something like Biochemistry/Chemistry. And a lot of my friends got UM too! Being the university my mum is teaching at, and me knowing that it is a good institution besides me already being comfortable there, of course there was a bit of an argument as I was interested to study there too. At least studying in an IPTA means you can relate to everyone else and already have friends there sobs. And then the results of MARA scholarship came out and I was offered to study IB in Kolej Mara Banting and later on continue in Applied Science (Biology) overseas. Another argument ensued. It was hard rejecting those two, I was heartbroken and crying ahahaha. I am still not over them but InsyaAllah, I believe my parents know what's best for me and what's most important is getting their blessings as nothing can work out without it. Also, Alhamdulillah so, so much as I actually have choices and offers when some people don't.
Oh, I also turned 18. Nothing changed. However, I got an ukulele for my birthday with a typical beginners book. You should know that I have zero musical experience and I cannot read any musical notes. But there was plenty of time, so I struggled by myself with the help of the book and Youtube, learning how to strum and read/play the different chords. One month later, alhamdulillah I can now play it.. normally (?) Ok lah can play the A, F, G, C, D, Dm, Bb, Am, Em chords although some are quite impossible like E how the heck do you extend your fingers that far?? And some K-Pop songs are impossible to play but I'LL KEEP ON LEARNING.
Because this is a post I did randomly, might as well put on some more random things. Went to see 2NE1's Dara in Midvalley where she promoted Moonshot with my cousin Mira. Wow, second Korean idol I got to meet for free this year ahahha. Oh no, I just remembered a terrible experience that happened recently. As Mira was staying over for a week, my mum suggested something like this, "Apa kata practice pergi Sunway and balik rumah naik public transport?" since I'll be studying nearby there. Going there was no problem using the LRT and RapidKL bus. We went ice skating at Sunway Pyramid. Going back though. We planned to take the bus to the Kelana Jaya LRT station but somehow went on another bus which we thought would bring us to KL Sentral and would cut us a lot of time, and it was THE WRONG BUS. By the end of the journey, we were the only two left in the bus and the driver was like asking us where do we actually want to go and he told us we got on the wrong bus so we had to get off the bus at god knows where and it was like in the evening and starting to rain heavily. Not knowing where we were, we walked to the petrol station not knowing what to do and went to look for a taxi. We got one, but going to the Kelana Jaya LRT station was tough because of the super heavy traffic jam and the anxiousness of being in a taxi. AND GUESS WHAT. THE FEE WAS OVER RM30!!!!!!! I was so mad at myself. So bla bla bla went home safely, although the journey back started at 4.30PM plus and ended at 7PM plus. Let's just say I am now a bit traumatized of going on a public transport that is not KTM or LRT.
Moving on to a less serious topic. Tablo replied to my tweet and answered with a video from Epik High. Read three Jenny Han books, and continued with the Shopaholic series. Started reading the Princess Diaries series and am now at the seventh book (why am I repeating this). Started reading The Lunar Chronicles and finished it, apparent from that fan cast I did previously. Wrote two articles for Niexter, one an album review of Lee Hi's Seoulite and another about my scholarship assessment experience. It's sad to know that I no longer have writing as a source of income since I can no longer write for stuff@school, and that brought me more than 2k in my bank account sobs. I can't believe I haven't been using the money at all for concerts, albums or merchandise. SEE, I'M A GOOD MONEY SAVER AND DAUGHTER.
Met up with my primary school best friends Balqis and Farah together with Sharon for my birthday to watch a movie and later on ate for the first time at Bulgogi Brothers. Thank god I ordered food which wasn't as spicy as the others did as they struggled amusingly to finish theirs. Then went out with Zhee Qi and Aisyah to Urbanscapes House and later on Galeri Petronas in KLCC. It was definitely a good experience, and you can read about the whole story here on Zhee Qi's blog: http://tree4pokok.blogspot.my/2016/05/urbanscapes-house-galeri-petronas.html . Had a short getaway with my family at Lexis Hibiscus, Port Dickson. I also went to my school's Teachers Day celebration and had lots of fun watching the teachers in school uniforms and having fun. Especially loved Encik Alias' short film of the year.
I guess this is the end of this very confusing post. It's such a shame that I was just reading two successful high-achieving, inspirational students' blogs and compared to theirs, mine is very.. potato-like. Sigh. I pray for the time I will come into terms with myself and be more confident.
As this is a visual-lacking post, I'll just put out the songs/albums I've been listening to in point form:
- Delilah by Florence + The Machine
- Dean's album - 130 Mood: TRBL
- YG in da Mix (Pt. 10) album
- DAY6's album - DAYDREAM
- Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners
- Monsta X's All In
- BTS' album - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Young Forever
- Lee Hi's album - Seoulite
- BgA's DONG SAYA DAE HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Bye.
Wow Durr, you sure hv A LOT of things happening there. As for the public transport trauma, guuurl that is like the stupidest thing for a beginner to do. Just a tip, if you were to be in that situation again (harap tak la) but try taking GrabCar. It's risky, yeah but so is taxi and you'll probs will end up paying usually wayyy lesser. And do research before taking any buses hahah it'll save you time and money fosho.
ReplyDeleteYour uni life will probably be muchmuchmuch more better than those who is already in uni. Don't think so badly of it. I'm sure you and your parents are making the right decision for your future. You're lucky that you even have a choice to pick a uni. Anyway, GOOD LUCKKK!! Walaupun lama lagi intakenya ;)
YES I KNOW THAT WAS SO STUPID OF ME HAHAHHAHA just because I nampak the flashing signs outside the bus tu tulis KL Sentral I immediately thought oh pergi sana kot haha should've asked before boarding. Yes, alhamdulillah, this decision isn't bad at all it is really good sebenarnya kannn. Thank you Amelynn!!
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